1. Myth: It’s Normal for Nipples to Hurt
Breastfeeding does not have to hurt. Nipples can and will feel sore if you're breastfeeding your newborn every couple of hours and especially when they start teething but there are ways to ease the discomfort or pain.
As a mother and a wife there are numerous things you tend to feel guilty about but taking time for yourself should not be one of them. Every day many mothers grapple with making time for themselves and fulfilling their needs for their family. Even when you get a moment to yourself you tend to feel guilty because your habitual thought process is saying what else do I have to do? You find it difficult to sit down and relax because you know you have forgotten to do something. There seems to never be enough time to do it all, especially if you're a working mom. I noticed that the little things that are important to our well being we neglect sometimes and put everyone else's needs in front of our own. This type of behavior is detrimental to our spirit and can lead to depression, anxiety and a breakdown of a marriage if you are not careful. If your daily routine has always been doing everything for other people and neglecting yourself you will be miserable. I know from experience that if you don't take care of you first you will die a slow spiritual death. If this sounds like I am being selfish, then good it's time for me and you to become more selfish and take care of ourselves. Why do some of us think that we have to wait until our kids are grown to get our lives back? By that time it might be too late. The time is now. There are ways to manage our time more effectively and methods to decrease the workload such as:
...As I was strolling through my feed on Instagram I noticed an interesting headline. Hmmm... I thought no way this has to be fake news, let me do further research. As I began to investigate some more I found tons of online news articles stating the same exact information. There is now a potential cure for HPV!
...Does climate change affect maternal mothers? I have to be honest with you climate change was never really been a thought for me, but as I am sitting here writing this we are currently in the midst of something called a Polar Vortex, (large area of low pressure and cold air surrounding both of the Earth's poles) often associated with large outbreaks of Arctic air in the United States.
...My dad makes a joke..."it was so much easier when his partner was on vacation and I could use his office." Easier for who?? For you who it doesnt affect at all since you stay in the room?
A few weeks ago the office manager turned to me and said, you always talk about having a pumping space, where would you even put it?
Do you want me to draft a floor plan to show you the 15 differnt areas it could be added in our office? Let me name a few.
That wouldnt work. Where would the filing cabinet go?
Seriously? That free standing file cabinet couldnt fit anywhere else in this 3000 sq ft office?
Why are so many parents skeptical about vaccinations? Let's face it over the last 20 years many parents are hesitant towards vaccinating their children and to be quite frank, I can't blame them. No one wants to even take the flu shot. I remember taking the flu shot years ago and immediately I became ill. As a result of my bad experience, I was deterred from ever getting the flu shot ever again, nor did I want my children to take it. Even though the flu can be deadly, I don't trust it and wasn't sure that it would prevent the flu. I chose to be exposed rather than vaccinated.
...Must we attend every school performance? Is it ok for a parent to say I don't feel like going? I love my children but when these events come up I dread them and here's why. It may be the Fall Talent show or the Winter Festival it doesn't matter what they call it, you are required to attend. Your children repeatedly remind you of the date and the time of the show. It is harassment on every level. Its as if you are forced to attend and be thrilled about going. I know some of you are reading this saying oh my goodness she is so mean but hear me out before becoming judgemental. There are many of you reading this right now who can relate to what I am saying. I’m going to state what every parent wants to say but doesn’t, I despise school performances. I loathe them, especially in this era. It is very difficult to just sit back and enjoy the show.
...Is it just me or are dads stepping up in a big way? Many fathers nowadays play an active role in their children's lives. More fathers are taking on more responsibility when it comes to their children. We see you in Starbucks feeding your babies, strolling down the streets with your baby carriers and doing your part as a dad. I am not stating that we should begin to roll out the red carpet for them just yet. Men do one thing right, which is what they are supposed to be doing and we are quick to applaud them or pat them on the back. Dads are standing up and declaring a comfortable space to change their children's dirty diapers.
...Starting January 1, 2019, New York City will update the gender label on a birth certificate to male, female, or X upon self-attestation by the applicant of their gender. The applicant will be able to do so without a doctor's note or medical assessment. Now parents can choose "X" for their children, and adults can select the marker for themselves as long as they attest the change is "not for any fraudulent purpose," the form states. New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio signed the measure into law on Tuesday, marking a breakthrough in a years-long struggle for advocates.
...The rates of maternal death in the United States are increasing, doctors are looking for ways to save mothers’ lives and reduce complications during childbirth. One way is to reduce the rates of Cesarean births. Many women are choosing c-sections over vaginal delivery for various reasons. In this new era, we want everything quick. Women have changed and their schedules are much busier than their ancestors. We are no longer just working mothers and wives we are entrepreneurs, CEOs, trailblazers and so much more. This has a huge impact on why c-sections have increased. Why can't we control when we want to have our babies and how?
...Congratulations! You just found out you're going to be a mother. You are ecstatic, excited and scared all at the same time. It is a wonderful experience to become a new mother but unfortunately behind that joy can sometimes be pain. We are all familiar with the term depression but not so much perinatal depression. Perinatal depression is a combination of prenatal depression before the baby’s born, and postpartum depression after the baby’s born.
...Every day on my way to drop my daughter off to school I notice parents hustling and bustling trying to make it on time and get to work. It is a never-ending cycle, same routine day in and day out. Everyone rushing, no one speaking to each other unless they have their own click, or you're a lot like me and you don't feel like being bothered because you can't take on another friend or you don't have time. I know, making new friends at this point in your life takes work and effort. The majority of people I see the most are women.
...Have you been told by your doctor while pregnant that you are obese but, in your eyes, you look and feel good? First of all, I hate the word obese. It just makes me cringe as if your some kind of spectacle and doctors tend to use this word often to tell you in a nice way your fat. You call yourself curvy, thick or big boned especially if you're a woman of color. Yet as a pregnant woman, we have to take into consideration that what we eat may affect our pregnancy. See most overweight women have no problem delivering healthy babies, however, obesity or being overweight by the doctor's standards during pregnancy puts women at risk for serious health problems such as preeclampsia, blood clots, gestational diabetes, blood pressure disorders, and heart attacks. According to the National Health and Nutrition Examination Survey, 33.4% of women 20 to 34 years of age are obese, and 58.4% are overweight. According to the Mayo clinic, obesity and diabetes are risk factors for heart attacks and disease in pregnant women. I had no clue that a woman could have a heart attack while pregnant. We will leave that for another day. The quality of our food has changed significantly over the last 30 years. Many of us cannot afford to go to whole foods or buy organic. Sometimes it's cheaper to get a meal at Mcdonalds than to cook a nutritional meal with value. Have you noticed how cheap fast food has become these days? Its almost impossible to resist sometimes.
...Do you ever wonder what it feels like to not be able to have a child? We assume that this is a natural process of the womans body but many women find it difficult to conceive naturally every day. Some women have the ability to conceive but are unable to carry a baby to full term. Sadly, miscarriages are a very common occurrence. According to miscarriage statistics, sources vary but many estimate that approximately 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage, and some estimates are as high as 1 in 3. When you think of what the role of a woman is you tend to correlate it with homemaker, mother, wife, caregiver and child bearer. Mind you these are all worthy titles to live up to but sometimes unattainable. In many cultures, if a woman cannot conceive she is looked down upon, shamed in her community and made to feel inferior, as if having a child is her only identity.
...If you have ever had a mammogram, it could be one of the most difficult examinations a woman will have to experience in her life. In this day and era, it is crucial that women are tested for breast cancer. I know someone who has either had breast cancer or died from breast cancer. Regrettably, I didn't believe breast cancer would affect my life until my aunt passed away a few years ago. She was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer and had undergone chemotherapy to combat the illness. I was under the impression if you contracted breast cancer early you had a better chance at survival, but my aunt was defeated by this horrible disease and our family was devastated. We were taken by surprise how quickly cancer had spread to other parts of her body. It was one of the worse days of my life. I was forced to look at breast cancer in an entirely different way.
...A picture can be worth a thousand words. Hmmm... this is a tough subject for me to discuss, yet alone write about it, but it is something that we as Mothers deal with on a regular basis, especially me. I came across a story featured by Good Morning America, about Anupa King, a beautiful proud mother who posted a picture with her and her two lovely young boys. The photo embodied a mothers love and joy. Anupa appeared carefree and totally her authentic self. In her post she mentions how much love was shining through the photo and how beautiful her boys were. What struck me about this post was how happy they all looked and the fact that she pointed out that the old version of herself would have criticized how big her mouth looked and not have posted the picture at all.
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