Every day on my way to drop my daughter off to school I notice parents hustling and bustling trying to make it on time and get to work. It is a never-ending cycle, same routine day in and day out. Everyone rushing, no one speaking to each other unless they have their own click, or you're a lot like me and you don't feel like being bothered because you can't take on another friend or you don't have time. I know, making new friends at this point in your life takes work and effort. The majority of people I see the most are women.
Women with their children everywhere trying to do it all. Hauling their strollers, with their oversized bags and looking stressed out. I'm not saying that I don't see any men doing their part. I am proud to say I see many fathers taking their children to school as well but at the end of the day, women are doing a lot more of the work. It is totally another job that doesnt get enough credit. I am putting all future wives and moms on notice right now, the workload for a woman is not the same as it is for a man. It will never be equal even if your husband is the best provider, best cook, and a great father the woman will always have more to do whether we like it or not. Do we blame Eve? Heck yeah!
Even Michelle Obama mentioned on her book tour "Marriage still ain't equal, y'all," she said, according to Vanity Fair. "It ain't equal. I tell women that whole 'you can have it all' — mmm, nope, not at the same time, that's a lie. It's not always enough to lean in because that s*** doesn't work. So oftentimes it's not equal. And you feel a bit resentful about it. And so then it's time to go to marriage counseling," she added. It doesn't work, something has to be sacrificed and if you don't learn to put your self first and ask for help, you will be the sacrificial lamb. You will lose yourself and won't even know it. You will assume that you have it altogether until you take a good look at yourself and say what have I allowed to happen to myself?
It appeared as if mothers had more help back in the earlier days. I remember growing up, we had multiple places you could stay if your parents were not going to be home. We knew almost everyone in our building and even in our neighborhood. Your uncle might have lived around the corner or your aunt downstairs. You knew who was creepy, you knew who would tell all your business and there was always that neighbor you could borrow anything from. There was a sense of community.
I say to all the mothers out there where's our village? Our helpers and support in our communities. What happened to everyone looking out for each other? Have we become so wrapped up in social media and our phones that we don't realize we are losing the human connection?
As a mother with two children sometimes it can be difficult and you don't want to ask for help even though you may need it. I believe it's time for mothers to pull together and help each other any way we can even if we are strangers. Whether it is giving your seat up on the train, helping someone with their stroller up the stairs, or understanding when someone's kid is having a meltdown and not be so quick to jump to judgment. Instead of judging we can try to find a solution at that moment to help another mom out. I find that when you connect with other moms you tend to find out valuable information such as the affordable daycare or summer camp in the neighborhood, the best deals on children's clothing, and programs that benefit you and your children. Can't you see we are better together than we are apart? Start with a smile or just say good morning, baby steps. Sometimes we miss adult conversation.
I'm not saying go out and find you a new BFF. I'm saying take the time out to connect with other moms and start to build a community so we can begin to help one another. Our children will be better for it.